Hesitate Part 11
by honkytonk-babe3
Summary: had to change this just a little to make it a bit more suitable for the site. hope u like!


**Hey y'all! Glad you could tune in again. Here is part 11 for ya.**

Good Company

_(Several weeks later)_

Sukari sat up on her bed and yawned, stretching. Last night had been the best night of sleep she had gotten, though, every morning she expected to hear the voice of her master yelling at her to wake up. She hadn't heard that for awhile, though. Ever since she and the girls had been welcomed into the turtles' home she had been much more content than she had been in years.

She stood up and walked over to the mirror that Donatello's friend, April O'Neil had been kind enough to give her. She picked up the hairbrush that had been lent to her by Carolie and began brushing her long hair. She found a snag here and there but it didn't bother her. She saw her ring on the table in front of her and stared at it for a moment. To her, it symbolized how Bishop had thought she was ugly. He had never let her leave her room until she put the ring on. Here, however, no one cared what she looked like. Raphael thought she was beautiful how she was. Oh, how she loved him! She enjoyed him referring to her, now, as his girlfriend. It made her feel more special than anything.

She suddenly heard a knock on the door.

"Sukari?" It was Raphael. Sukari shot up from her chair and walked over to the door and opened it. Raphael stood before her in his turtle form wearing his red mask. She smiled and he bent down to plant a kiss on her forehead. "Mornin' babe," he said with a smile. She smiled at him and bowed her head.

"Good morning. I'm not quite finished dressing, Raphael," she said, blushing. Raphael ran his eyes up and down her body with one eyebrow raised. He smirked.

"I think ya look just fine like dat." Sukari's head moved to look at him so quickly Raphael put his hands up. "I was just kiddin', baby. Can I come in, at least?" Sukari smiled in relief and moved to the side so he could enter. He walked in and sat on her bed while she closed the door and walked over to her dresser. She opened the top drawer and dug in it to find a shirt. She found a black, form-fitting tee shirt and put it on. She didn't have to worry about him seeing anything due to her plastron. She then opened the bottom drawer and pulled out a pair of dark blue stretchy jeans with a hole cut in the back for her tail. Raphael stood as she slipped them on. From behind he wrapped his arms around her and placed his hands over the button of her jeans. She flinched slightly, but then realized what he was doing and rested her head on his shoulder. He kissed her neck and zipped and buttoned her jeans himself and she turned around when he was done.

With his hands on the small of her back he pulled her closer and she put her arms around his neck. He bent down and kissed her tenderly. She moaned a bit and kissed him back gently. She had to be careful kissing him in her form because of her teeth. He had already cut his tongue on her fangs before.

Raph pulled away and put his hands on her ribs with a mischievous smile. She looked at him in playful warning. His finger twitched over her rib and she flinched and tried to push away, but he held her firmly and began tickling her sides without mercy. She squealed and struggled under his grasp. He picked her up and tossed her onto her bed. She was laughing hard as he climbed on top of her and continued tickling her. She kicked out and laughed harder.

"Give up, babe?" Raph said. Sukari looked at him, still laughing, and nodded.

"O-okay, okay! I-I give up!" Raph stopped tickling her and lay down next to her, smiling. She rolled over and ended up on top of him, resting her head on his chest. She ran her nails up and down his plastron, making little invisible patterns. "Why can't we just stay like this? Just lie here together forever; or even freeze time?" Raphael chuckled.

"I don't know," he said. He rubbed her shoulder. "Dat wouldn't be too bad, though, would it?" Sukari smiled and turned so her chin was resting on her interwoven fingers and she was looking at him.

"It wouldn't," she agreed. He stared back at her and she saw the tenderness in his usually hard golden eyes. It was strange. The way he looked at his brothers and other people was hard and usually he was glaring, but all that seemed to disappear when he looked at her. He was a lot more kind to her than anyone, even his brothers.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Raphael asked. Sukari snapped out of her thoughts and the thought of something she had been worried about came up.

"How am I going to go back to school?" she asked. Raphael looked at her, confused. "Josh is there and you know he will not hesitate to pursue me or the girls. Haven't you noticed how much Bishop's men have been cracking down on the city? He knows I'm not dead. He knows you're free. He'll be looking for both of us. What are we going to do?" Raphael's grip on her shoulder tightened. He _had_ realized what had been going on up top because he still went out there with his brothers on patrols. Sukari and the girls were confined down here to make sure that they didn't get hurt until they could defend themselves. He thought for a few moments before answering.

"I'll take ya to ya classes," he said. "I won't let him get near ya. If he touches ya once at school, and I see it, I'll kill him. I'll be there for ya, Sukari." His eyes bored into hers as she took in his words. She knew he was serious. He _would_ kill Josh if he crossed the line. She hugged his midsection as a thank you and he responded likewise.

They both suddenly heard a knock on the door.

"Raph? Sukari? Are you guys in there?" called Donatello's voice. Sukari sighed and pushed off of her boyfriend. He sat up with a grunt.

"Yeah, Donny," he called, "we'll be out for trainin' in a minute."

"Hurry," Donny said, "Leo's getting impatient." They heard him walk away. Sukari stood as did Raphael and they walked out of her room to the dojo.

Crossing the Line

"Alright," Master Splinter said, looking at his eight pupils; the girls on one side, the boys on the other. "you girls have learned much in the past few weeks. I have decided to let you participate in the sparring matches today. Leonardo, you will be facing Sukari. Raphael, you will face Caroline. Donatello will face Rajein, and Michelangelo will face Monique. Stand in the four corners of the matt." They all did as instructed. "No weapons in this match. Last person standing wins. Begin."

Sukari immediately was tackled by Leonardo, but she tumbled and flipped him over onto his back. He jumped up, managing to kick her down. She grunted and did a back-handspring and landed back on her feet. He charged her with a fist raised and she ducked backwards just before he knocked her teeth out. He, however, was expecting her to duck and took the advantage of how she showed her abdomen. He twirled with a foot raised and kicked her in the stomach-_much_ harder than necessary-and she cried out and fell, holding her stomach. She was fine in a few seconds when the pain subsided, though. Leo climbed over her and pinned her down.

"Sukari!" Splinter called. "You're out!" Sukari, with help from Leonardo, stood and walked back over to the starting point and knelt. Raphael nodded to her, happy that she was okay.

Mikey and Mona were next. He jumped and she stepped back, causing him to land in front of her. She reared back and punched his chest, causing her hand to throb with pain and him to smirk. He grabbed her hand and twisted her wrist, making her turn her back to him. She, however, still had capability of using her legs. Her right foot went upwards and caught him in the upper-thigh, just below his… you know what. He yelled out and let go of her. She turned back and, quick as lightening, tripped him, punched his juggler, and pinned him down with her forearm on his neck. She smiled at him and he smirked up at her, not minding his defeat.

"Michelangelo, out!" Splinter called. Mikey went to sit next to Sukari, who offered him a smile. He ruffled her hair and sat.

Donny and Raj began circling each other, both waiting for the other to make a move. Raj was watching his every move. He eyed her, eyes never leaving her face. She smiled and pounced. He smirked, caught her, and flipped her over him. She landed on her back with a grunt. He jumped on her, but she kicked him off. She got up and kicked his shins and karate-chopped his carotid artery. He yelled out in pain as stars danced before his eyes. He got frustrated and his hand flew out and caught her cheek with his knuckle. She cried out and hid her face, staggering. He panicked at the horror of what he'd just done and touched her shoulder. He regretted it the second he did because the minute she felt his hand, she grabbed his arm and flung him to the ground, crouched on top of him, and put her hand gently but firmly on his neck. He looked up at her, shocked. Raj smiled in victory.

"Donatello! You're out!" Donny joined his brother and Sukari. They all looked Raphael and Carolie.

Carolie was standing still as Raphael was pacing in front of her. She watched him with curiosity and waited for him to pounce. Raph suddenly ran forward, hands raised. Carolie smiled and moved to the side, making Raph miss. He turned as she was backing up, smiling. He pounced toward her, hoping to catch her from above, but missed. She giggled and continued her little maneuver a few more times until Raphael grew irritated. He ran at her with a growl of effort, faking to the right. When she moved to dodge him, however, he changed direction. He fell to his side with his leg extended and tripped her onto her back. She yelped when she hit the ground. He smirked and put a hand on her chest plate, pinning her by pushing down. She struggled under his grasp, but he held firm. She had no choice in the end but to tap out.

"Caroline!" Splinter called to her. "You're out!" Raphael helped her up and she walked over to the rest and sat next to Sukari. They all looked at who was left. Raphael, Leonardo, Rajein, and Monique were all standing shoulder to shoulder. Splinter stared for a moment before deciding who would go best with each other. "Monique," he said finally, "you will face Raphael. Leonardo, you will face Rajein. Begin." Leo and Raj began circling each other.

"You're a good fighter, Leonardo," Raj said, "I'll bet you're even better with your blades." Leo smirked.

"I'll bet you wish you had your chain about now, huh?" he said in a mocking tone. She glared playfully and pounced on him, catching him by mild surprise with her feet on his chest and he fell onto his shell.

"I already took you down with that chain, did I not? I thought you made a funny sound when you hit the floor." This earned a chuckle from their audience. Leo scoffed and pushed her off. He jumped up off his shell and sprung onto her, pushing her down to her back. She grunted as he pinned her and kicked out at him, grabbing his wrists.

"You caught me off guard," Leo said. "I didn't even want to fight you, so you can't exactly use that against me, Raj." Raj put her foot on his plastron and flipped him over. His shell made a smacking sound as it hit the floor again. She straddled him, out of reach of his legs, and pinned his hands next to his head.

"How are you feeling now?" she asked. He glared up at her. "I suppose I win, Leader."

"I-I let you win," Leo said. Raj smiled down at him and let him up.

"Of course, Leonardo," she said with a flirty grin that he and the others all caught the meaning of. He went to go sit next to Mikey, who gave him a sly grin and a thumbs-up. Leo smacked the back of his head.

Raphael stood in front of Mona. Everyone stared at the two, knowing that this would either go mildly well or awful. Mona was like a female Raph. Raph was like a bomb with a shorter-than-necessary fuse. Mona glared at Raph, who made a 'come at me' motion to her. She ran towards him and jumped at him, but he moved just in time. He tried getting her from behind, but she jumped and rolled over his shell. He twisted and caught her in the side with his foot, causing her to grunt in pain. She growled at him and her fist flew into his beak. He yelled out and grabbed it, wiping away a small trace of blood. Mona smirked with satisfaction. Raph's temper shortened as he glared at her. In an instant, he pounced on her, pushing her roughly to the ground and she grunted in frustration.

"Why don't ya surrender, Raphie-boy?" Mona sneered up at him. He scowled back at her and tightened his grip. "How does it feel to know that you have a chance at gettin' whipped by a girl?" Mona laughed at him, causing his fuse to go down even more. He kept her pinned for a few more seconds before she kicked his leg, weakening his grasp on her so she could escape. She stood up and kicked his shell so he landed on the floor belly-down. He grunted as she climbed on top of him. She grabbed his arm and twisted it behind him. He yelled out when he felt his wrist pop. He rolled over and pinned her to the floor with his shell and kept her legs down by putting his feet on her shins. She wiggled under him hopelessly and he smirked.

"How does it feel ta know dat afta ya trash-talkin', ya da one dat gets whipped?" he said triumphantly. Mona glared and soon tapped out. Raph got up and held his hand out to help her up. She slapped it away and pushed herself up. Raph rolled his eyes and sat down.

Before anyone could applaud the winners, they all heard a new noise.

"_I'm going under, drowning you. I'm falling forever. I've got to break through. I'm going under."_ Sukari took her phone out of her pocket and looked at the caller I.D. she didn't recognize the number but answered.

"Hello?"

"_What's up, babe?_" said a voice that made Sukari's lime skin pale and her eyes widen. She took the phone from her ear and pressed the speaker button.

"How the hell did you get my number?" she demanded. Raph gave her a confused glance, but then he heard the voice.

"_It ain't hard ta find a phone number, babe. Bishop gave it ta me. Where are ya?_" Raphael stood and walked next to his girlfriend, who was shaking.

"What makes you think I'll tell you?" she said. They all heard Josh's little chuckle when she said that.

"_Ya still goin' ta school?_" he asked. "_If you are, I'd be happy ta personally escort ya home afterwards. I might even pay a visit to ya little friends too._"

"If you touch any of them," Sukari said in pure venom, "I will slit your throat with the same knife you threatened me with two years ago." They all heard Josh's heavy laugh.

"_Really?!_" he said with a chortle. "_Ya can't even handle a pocket knife!_" He chuckled. "_When ya were fourteen ya couldn't even handle-_,"

"Don't you dare!" Sukari screamed, making everyone jump. "Don't you dare bring that up, Josh Mason!" They heard him laugh again.

"_Why not?_"he asked. "_It ain't a lie. I thought dat with hands like yours you'd do a lot better than dat._"

"Shut up," Sukari said through gritted teeth. Raphael looked at her in confusion.

"Sukari," he said, "what is he talkin' about?" Josh laughed again.

"_Hey, Raphie. Fair warnin'; Kari's got a tight little ass, but make sure ya put the ring on her first. Her tail tends ta get in da way._" Raphael looked at Sukari with a tinge of disgust.

"I said shut up!" Sukari yelled at Josh, ignoring Raphael's gaze as best as she could.

"_Remember_," Josh continued, "_if she's gonna suck, da ring makes her fangs disappear. I still got scars from when she bit me._"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Sukari screamed at the top of her lungs. She heard Josh laughing again and, with her fist, she crushed her cell phone into pieces. It short circuited and then died out. She was shaking when she looked up at everyone. They were all staring at her, even Raphael. Tears welled up in her eyes. "I-I," she was at a loss for words. "I'm sorry." She jumped up, pushing away from Raphael, and ran out of the dojo. Raph stood, looking after her. He looked down at his family.

"Uh," he said, "Raj wins." He ran out of the dojo after Sukari, leaving his family in complete confusion.

Can't Escape My Mind

When Sukari ran out of the dojo, she didn't stop there. She ran through the living room and out into the tunnels. She ran and ran as the memory of that horrible night crept into her mind like a slow leak of sand through a keyhole.

_(Flashback)_

_Sukari was lying on her bed trying to fall asleep. She had just woken up from a nightmare, and now, after she had calmed down, she was having difficulty falling asleep. She suddenly heard the door to her room open and close. She looked up and saw Joshua Mason standing in her doorway. He stared at her and she saw something funny in his eyes. It was dark and sinister and… excited. He walked over to the side of her bed and stared down at her. She stared back in fear and began breathing heavily. He bent down and placed his hands on the bed on either side of her. She started stuttering and panting and he climbed over her. _

Sukari kept running as the memory continued to cloud her mind. She could hear Raphael behind her, but she didn't stop. She ran as fast as her legs could take her, though she knew Raphael was faster, and gaining on her.

"Sukari!" she heard him yell. More tears streamed down her face.

_Josh grasped Sukari's blanket and pulled it down. She put her hands up and on his chest. He looked up at her, seeing the fear in her eyes and he smirked._

"_J-Josh," she whispered, "p-please don't." Josh put a finger to her lips and she closed her eyes. He began to kiss and bite her neck and she whimpered. His hands went to her bra and he unclasped it. Sukari panicked and kicked out at him, catching him in the stomach. It didn't hurt him; it just pissed him off. He flipped her over and pressed her neck down with his forearm. She began to scream out at nothing, hoping someone would hear and come help her. No one came. Josh grew impatient and punched her back. She cried out in pain and balled her fists._

"_If ya smart like ya say ya are," he said, "ya'll shut da hell up and put dis on." He put her ring in front of her face and she let out a sob. She undid her fist so he could slip the ring on her middle finger. When the change was complete, he stripped her of her shorts._

Sukari was still running with Raphael a few ten feet behind her. He kept calling to her, but she didn't listen. She didn't want the questions; didn't want the pain of reliving it. She remembered how he looked at her when he heard what Josh had said. He was surprised and… disgusted. It had hurt so much when he looked at her that way. She kept running.

_Josh placed both of his hands on her buttocks and braced himself. Sukari cried and sobbed and begged him not to. He ignored her and bit her neck and licked her back, loving the warmth of her skin beneath his mouth. After a few moments of pretense, he no longer hesitated to take her, humiliating her in every way, shape, and form possible. She cried out at the intense pain it caused her and begged him to stop. He didn't; he only went faster and harder. With each hit, she felt nothing but pain. The pain didn't even subside enough for her to breathe correctly. She screamed. Josh laughed. Nobody came. _

_(End of Flashback)_

Sukari suddenly tripped and went sprawling down on the sewer floor. She cried out every time she hit the ground until she stopped and skidded on the ground. She cried and screamed at nothing, remembering the way Josh had laughed at her. She got up and began punching the walls and kicking the pipes relentlessly. She remembered the things he had ordered her to do, and then forced her. She remembered how he called her worthless; how he told her that she wouldn't amount to anything but a whore. She broke a pipe. He had made her do sick and obscene things, sinful and wrong things, ripping apart her innocence into microscopic shreds. She dropped to her knees, put her hands on the sides of her head, and screamed louder.

"Sukari!" Raphael ran up next to her, skidded to a halt, and knelt beside her. She refused to look at him. She only cried in loud, pained sobs. "Baby, talk ta me! Are ya okay?!" She hid her face in her arms and curled up. Raph picked her up by her shoulders and engulfed her in a hug, allowing her to sob into his plastron. He held her tightly and whispered comforting words in her ear. "Shhh, baby, it's okay now. I'm here. It's okay."

"No," Sukari said through her shallow breath. "It's not. I'm not okay. I haven't been okay since that night. It hasn't been okay since he did that to me!" Raphael rocked back and forth and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"What did he do?" he asked. "Tell me what he did, baby."

"He," Sukari's voice caught, but she forced it to continue, "r-raped me. He did it in a manner that wouldn't make me lose my virginity, but it still benefited him! It hurt so badly, Raphael!" She cried louder into his chest and he petted her head, taking in what she said. "W-when I screamed no one came. When I begged him to stop, he laughed. When I told Bishop about it the next morning, h-he said it was punishment! He said I deserved it! He said-," her voice broke.

"Baby," Raph said in a pained whisper, "I'm so sorry, but dat's all in da past. Ya need ta let it go."

"How can I let it go?" Sukari asked weakly. "He will use that against me forever. I can't live with being tainted like I was! I was fourteen then, and he had full advantage. How can I let it go?"

"Don't think of it as regret," Raph replied. "Think of it as a factor. If dat didn't happen, would ya be here? Would ya have gotten da courage ta defy ya master? No. For lack of a better term, ya'd still be Josh's bitch, just a pet he can kick around. It happened, Sukari, but don't let it eat ya from da inside out. If ya do, he wins." Sukari looked up at him with red, puffy eyes. He looked back down at her with tenderness and pain in his amber eyes.

"He already has won, Raphael," Sukari said. "He meant to get to me and he succeeded when he hurt you. I could do nothing but watch from the inside of a cage as he broke six of your ribs with a few kicks and stomps while you were unconscious. He knew he had won when he saw my face after seeing you covered in bruises and cuts inflicted by him."

"Stop talkin' like dat," Raphael said in frustration. Sukari gazed at him as he glared at her. He hated it when she talked like that; like everything was lost when it wasn't. "You survived, Sukari. We both did. We both made it out alive. Look where we are now. You're with ya friends and me. I love ya and I ain't gonna let dat bastard come near ya. I promise ya dat we'll make it out of dis mess together." Sukari stared at him for a moment before pushing up to kiss him through her tears. He held her tighter, pulling her closer, kissing her harder, as if it was the last kiss he would ever share with her. Once the kiss broke, he picked her up bridal style and carried her home.

So it Begins

"What do you mean you lost the connection?!" Bishop screamed at Josh.

"I was talkin' ta her, then nothin'; dat's what I mean! I tried callin' her again but it said dat her phone was disconnected."

"What did you say to her?" Bishop asked, sitting at his desk and staring at the twenty-year-old sitting on a chair in front of him.

"Ya told me ta fuck with her mind, right?" Bishop nodded. "I brought up dat night when she was fourteen and ya told me ta dish out a punishment."

"The night you raped her?" Bishop asked calmly. Josh nodded, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah," he said. "She flipped the fuck out and screamed at me then da line went dead." Bishop nodded once.

"I want you to find her, Josh," he said, standing. "I want you to do whatever is necessary to bring her back. I don't care who needs to get tortured for information. I don't care who has to die. Just find her. You are dismissed." Josh got up and walked out of the room.

**There's part 11. Hope you guys enjoyed it. I was literally shaking as I was writing the rape scene part. There will be more action soon. I'd like to thank all who read my stories.**


End file.
